YOUR LIFE PURPOSE IS KILLING YOU AND SOCIETY’S PRESSURE IS THE WEAPON BEHIND THE MURDER:
His best friend from college killed himself.
I was about to walk into a meeting when someone very important to me sent a text.
“One of my best friend’s just passed and I am at a loss for words.”
Pill overdose. 20 something years old. Dead. Sucks.
Over the last several years, I have received a number of messages, phone calls, and one on one conversations where people told me they were going to kill themselves, and my content helped them pull through. If you ever question why I put out so much content, that’s why. It’s quite a feeling when someone that wasn’t planning on being around much longer, now is. And it is because, in some part, large or small, because of you.
I was eating mofongo the other day with someone trying to find her next “thing.” She asked me what I would tell younger Brian, knowing what I know now.
I get this question a lot, and after the suicide text, I thought it would be a good time to share my thoughts. I mostly want one of you to read this, and then give yourself a break. From the pressure. The stress. The anxiety. The depression. A lot of which come from one or more of these reasons.
YOU HAVE NO LIFE PURPOSE:
This entire industry was invented by BS self-help scam artists trying to influence you to buy their courses or books. It is an external stress that you didn’t ask for. The idea of one life purpose for every person is ludicrous and dangerous for your mental health. You will do many things in life. Some will be meaningful, others not. But there is no one big thing so you don’t have to find it. Not at age 22. Not at age 50, or 80. Not now. Not ever. Make today a great day. If you want a life purpose, there it is. Just make today a great day. It all adds up.
YOU HAVE WAY MORE TIME THAN YOU THINK:
So many people rushing “success.” And by the way, I am guilty of this too. I move fast. I think fast. I take extreme action and work hard. I want to see results. I want to find the “big moment” that will change my life and career. There is no big moment. It is the accumulation of lots and lots of hard work, many good people around me, and a little luck. But I can promise you this. At age 35, I have more energy than when I was 18. And I had a lot of energy at 18. We have time. Stop putting arbitrary numbers on your success. I want to be a millionaire by 40 or have 5 kids by 32. It’s not good for you.
YOUR PARENTS ARE EITHER SCARED, JEALOUS, OR LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN COMPREHEND:
You are lucky if it’s the third, and not so lucky if it’s 1 or 2. In any event, your parents are probably a huge reason that you are not trying to do more of what you love, or stuck in something you hate. I love my parents with my entire being, but if I listened to their life advice all the time, I’d never risk what I’ve risked. I think they are the “love me more than I can comprehend,” but it still requires immense courage and discipline to block out their preferences and create my own path. The scared and jealous parent will belittle your dreams because they wish they had it for themselves, or didn’t go for it when they could have. Becoming tunnel visioned and not listening to your parent does not mean you don’t love and appreciate them. This is a big one.
YOUR FRIENDS ARE LYING TO YOU AND TO THE PUBLIC AT LARGE:
Luxury cars, 7 figure business claims, digital nomad lifestyles, but broke broke broke, and in debt. The second, and I mean the second you start to compare yourself to your friends, you are done. You want different things, and let me tell you a secret. NOTHING is as it seems on the social world. Nothing. Stay in your zone. Your friends are lying about their lives, and if their lies affect you, it’s a spiral spin that can and should be avoided. Everyone has shit, skeletons, and massive flaws. Everyone.
YOUR WORSE CASE SCENARIO IS ALMOST NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN:
Write it down. The worst thing that you can imagine happening. The thing that scares you the most.
Mine: My parents die.
Mine: I run out of money and have to get a job.
I saw my parents last week. We had a blast together. It was our 12,045th day together. I like the odds that 12,046 will also happen.
My business is on fire, but if I ran out of money, I’d build it back up doing exactly what I did over the last 6 years. I’d get a few roommates and cook all my own meals. I’d have food and shelter. Not so bad.
PEOPLE REMEMBER YOUR SUCCESSES MORE THAN YOUR FAILURES:
Michael Jordan is considered the best basketball player of all time. I agree. He came back after retiring and was mediocre. No one talks about that. He tried a career in baseball and failed. No one talks about that. He’s the best of all time. That’s what we remember. Fail knowing that it will be forgotten.
SOMEONE OUT THERE LOVES AND BELIEVES IN YOU:
Spend more time with them. Negative people are the quickest way to fail. Cut them out. Please, you are what you eat, consume, surround yourself with, etc so find good people. The ones that let you be you. The ones that feed your soul. It’s all we have.
DRUGS WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE:
One of my closest friends from high school was living under a bridge on hard core drugs with her boyfriend. She disappeared for a while. Her family was devastated. I saw the whole thing. Drugs will ruin your life. I have seen it over and over and over and over and over. It literally breaks my heart, because good people lose everything because of an addiction. I am compassionate to this, I recognize that there are a lot of factors, but ultimately you decide.
When I was eating lunch the other day, I asked my friend what the title of her book would be.
She said “Despertar.” (Wake Up).
I asked her why?
She told me that most people wait until something really bad happens before they wake up. A death, cancer, tragedy.
She told me she did not want to wait for death to wake up.
I have no idea how my friend’s friend felt before he ended his life. I have no idea if this will help you, whoever you are reading in this moment.
I don’t have answers. I write about what I see. I write about what people tell me work for them. I write about what works for me.
I feel so lucky to feel alive every day, and these principles help me.
So I wanted to share them with you hoping you share them with someone that might need to hear this message today.
Because maybe, just maybe, we are all one share away from saving a life.