Advice is totally worthless.
Giving it. Getting it. Asking for it.
I’ve moved away from the idea of advice. At least that’s the goal.
No one in the world, including your parents or partner or best friend can ever really know what the quiet whispers of your heart are communicating with you. They can try and be the most well-intentioned people on the planet, but the only person that knows is you.
I used to give hours of advice to people. It was “so obvious” what they should do. Almost always, they did the opposite. And guess what? It worked out for them. Or it didn’t. Either way, hours of my life were gone, and they still lived on.
The concept of advice is fundamentally flawed for 2 reasons.
Either the person giving you advice loves you so much that they are going to do all they can to protect you from failure, or pain, or rejection that they are going to give you safe advice. Maybe you actually need to be pushed to something new. Something uncomfortable. Something that makes you grow. Safe advice never gets you to these places.
Or, the person giving you the advice is broken, jealous, miserable, and unhappy. And their advice is from a bad place personally, or worse, trying to sabotage your happiness.
But I am not suggesting we isolate. I am not suggesting it’s me against you. There is something another way. The idea of “sharing.” Because we can’t figure it all out alone. We are social beings and it’s healthy to have relationships where we can learn from each other.
Think about this. Everything we’ve ever done has, to some level, been influenced by someone else, even and especially when, we didn’t seek that “something else.” That means you have the power to do the same, to someone else.
So maybe today, you can share.
Your favorite song.
How you planted a garden.
What you drink after your long bike ride to recharge your cells.
What makes your relationship work.
Why you are voting for who you vote for.
What tips improve your sleep.
How you deal with depression.
Why you went vegan.
Because then, instead of advising everyone what they should do to “fix” their lives.
You’ve shared what it looks like taking responsibility for yours.
These are my words and thoughts that I share on a rainy winter day in South America.
Now go find yours.
Whatever they are.
Wherever you are.
That’s my advice.
But please don’t listen to me.